After Annie: A Novel

The novel opens with an epigraph from M.S. Merwin’s poem “Separation,” stating, “Your absence has gone through me / Like thread through a needle. / Everything I do is stitched with / its color.” The poem conveys the idea that loss significantly changes a person’s life. However, the progression of the plot also suggests that embracing these changes can be vital to the healing process. Accordingly, the characters find themselves adapting to a new role or identity or finding new ways to connect with others, and as the story unfolds, Quindlen endeavors to illustrate how loss permanently alters a person by shaping and redefining one’s sense of self. In the immediate aftermath of Annie’s sudden death, the family assumes new temporary roles and identities in order to survive. Just as the family reluctantly dons uncomfortable funeral clothes, they each must work to fill the holes that Annie left behind. When Bill’s depression prevents him from engaging fully with his family’s needs, Ali steps into the matriarchal role even though she is too young to carry these adult responsibilities. Similarly, Annemarie attempts to step into a motherly role, but her conflict with Bill and her struggle with substance misuse complicate her efforts. The narrative emphasizes their discomfort, stating, “They were all floating in some in-between where nothing seemed right” (78). Quindlen’s characters show the unpleasant and sometimes painful ways in which life drives people to pivot and adapt, eventually building the resilience to meet the next unexpected challenge. 

Annie’s death forces the characters to confront their identities, but before they move forward, they must grieve for the people they were when Annie was alive. As Ali reflects, “Her sad father made her sad because he reminded her every day of what was different, what was lost” (187). Flashbacks reveal how Annie contributed to each person’s identity. Bill remembers how Annie allayed his struggles with self-confidence and spoke of his profession with pride, making him the successful plumber he is today. Annemarie remembers Annie’s feistiness and particular brand of tough love, which facilitated her sobriety. Ali treasures the fact that her mother never shied away from tough conversations and would always make her feel safe and loved. Without the cornerstone of Annie’s presence, each person must find the courage to rebuild and redefine themselves by seeking out new meaning and purpose in life. Bill finds refuge in his work, and his plans to open a plumbing supply business mark the true beginning of his rebuilding process. However, he only begins reconstructing his family life when he undergoes therapy and works on rebuilding his relationship with his children. To this end, Miss Evelyn’s tough words remind Bill that he has no choice but to keep living, and Miss Cruz instructs him to begin the repairs by honoring Annie’s memory. 

Annemarie’s relapse forces her to redefine herself and her substance use disorder. Becoming a mother transforms her body and soul, giving her a new appreciation for Annie’s devotion to her family. Ali’s transformational process is uniquely painful as she ascertains that everyone but her has a replacement for Annie. Bill can find a new partner, and Annemarie can find a new friend, but Ali will always be motherless. Accepting this painful truth is the first step toward redefining her identity, and Ali learns that some problems in life have no easy answers or resolutions. By shepherding Ali through her grief and confusion over Jenny’s plight, Miss Cruz helps Ali build emotional resilience for the inevitable times when life doesn’t make sense. In the end, Ali emerges as a girl on the precipice of womanhood, and although she resembles her mother physically, she is distinct and unique, carrying the best parts of her mother’s wisdom and love inside her.