Binding 13

At school, Shannon continues to avoid Johnny, confusing and frustrating him. The idea of being “ignored didn’t sit well with [Johnny],” who is used to being the center of attention (226).

On his way to his coach’s office to discuss the upcoming playoff match against Royce College—the school that Johnny used to attend in Dublin—Johnny is stopped by Bella. She tries to talk to Johnny about their relationship, but Johnny is adamant that there has never been anything more than sex between them. Angry and annoyed, Johnny leaves her standing in the hall and turns the corner, running into Shannon.

Shannon thinks about the violence of the last couple of days, in which her parents fought so severely that she called the police, and her father again physically abused her. She is scared to go home, afraid of what will happen. Lost in thought, she runs into Johnny and falls to the ground.

As Johnny tries to help her, she runs away in embarrassment. Panicked and anxious about going home, she vomits in the school hallway. As she dry heaves on the ground, Johnny comes up behind her and comforts her. Once she calms down, Johnny tells Shannon that he is driving her home, despite her protests. He gives her his coat, telling her, “I’ll take care of you” (240).

Johnny drives Shannon home and thinks about the bullying from her file, while Shannon barely talks. At her house, he tries to get Shannon to tell her what is wrong, but she gets out of the car. Johnny contemplates leaving, but instead rolls down his window and tells Shannon to get back in.

Shannon wonders where Johnny is going and knows that she should be steering clear of him. However, as they drive, she thinks of how his car is a “temporary escape from the hell that is [her] home” (245) and is grateful she chose to go with him.

Johnny takes Shannon to Biddies, a local bar where the chef always cooks “clean” food for Johnny. The people in the pub treat Johnny like a celebrity because of his rugby success. The attention makes Shannon extremely uncomfortable, but she feels better when she realizes that Johnny also is not enjoying it. He takes her to the back lounge area, which is more private.

In the lounge, Shannon sees girls from her old school who used to bully her. She vividly relives a moment when one of them, Ciara, pinned her against a wall and beat her up for supposedly looking at her boyfriend. Having a near-panic attack, Shannon sits closer to Johnny, where she feels “safe.” Johnny repeatedly tells her that she is fine and that no one is going to harm her while she’s with him.

Johnny puts his arm around Shannon in the lounge and stares at Ciara’s table and her boyfriend, thinking about what they must have done to Shannon for her to feel this way. He thinks that he shouldn’t be touching Shannon, but he wants her to feel protected.

As they leave, Johnny asks Shannon to pay their bill at the bar and meet him at the car. When she leaves, he goes over to Ciara’s table. He punches Ciara’s boyfriend twice in the face as they protest. He insists that they harmed and made Shannon feel afraid, so he is just doing the same to them in return. Johnny tells them to stay away from Shannon.

The owner of the bar comes up to Johnny as he is leaving and Johnny apologizes for breaking things and says he will pay for it. However, he insists that the table deserved what they got. He also tells the owner that he is going to stop coming to Biddies if he keeps serving “scum” like Ciara and her friends. The owner says that he will kick them out and they will never be allowed back.

Back at the car, Johnny invites Shannon to see a movie. She hesitates, telling Johnny that she is “not allowed.” Johnny—unaware of the abuse Shannon receives from her father—thinks it makes sense that her parents are overprotective because of Shannon’s size and the bullying she has had in the past. Despite her hesitation, she agrees to go with him.

On Saturday, Shannon is left to care for her brother, Sean, all day. The night before, her mother and father got into a fight, and Shannon’s father turned his anger on Shannon. Still mad about the newspaper picture with Johnny, he beat her until her mother pulled him away. Her mother told her father to leave and not come back, so he angrily loaded up his car and left. An hour later, her mother also packed bags and called a taxi and has not been seen since.

That same Saturday, Johnny again struggles at practice with the academy. He is again called into the coach’s office, and this time, he is sent for a medical exam. He is told he cannot practice or play for four to six weeks, which means he will likely miss tryouts for the U20 team. Angry, he goes home and works out in the gym for hours.

Johnny is interrupted in his workout by Gibsie, who insists that they go out drinking at Biddies to take Johnny’s mind off rugby. After arguing, Johnny finally relents.

On Saturday night, Shannon and Joey sit with Joey’s girlfriend, Aoife, and discuss what they are going to do for money and food. Aoife asks if they have considered calling the authorities. Joey tells her that when he was 6, Shannon 3, and Darren 11, their mother turned them over to the authorities and said she was too sick to care for them. Although Shannon and Joey went together to a good family, Darren ended up in a home where he was sexually molested. When their mother was no longer “sick,” she was given custody of the kids again. However, after it was revealed what happened to Darren, their father started drinking more and began down the abusive path he is on now. Joey explains that their father “got this ridiculous fucking notion into his head that what happened to Darren had somehow turned him” gay (271). Aoife listens and understands their situation, then vows to help them make it through.

Johnny and Gibsie go out to Biddies, with Johnny already intoxicated. After he sees Bella there with his teammate Cormac, he takes several more shots. Bella keeps looking at him as she kisses Cormac, which annoys Johnny only because his teammate is disrespecting him by being with her. He also knows that Bella is using Cormac just to make Johnny jealous.

After Johnny and Gibsie have had several drinks, Cormac comes up to the table to talk to Johnny. He tries to ask Johnny outside so they can talk, but Gibsie interrupts and tells him to go away, calling him a “turncoat.” The argument escalates until Gibsie and Cormac begin physically fighting. Johnny intervenes and sends Gibsie and his friends home, then asks Cormac to go outside so they can talk.

Cormac thinks that he and Johnny are going to fight, but instead, Johnny tells him that he does not care about Bella. He explains that he is bothered that Cormac would go behind his back, but that he is not going to let it affect their team. He also gives Cormac advice and tells him to be careful of Bella.

When Cormac leaves, Johnny tries to call a cab but can’t get one. Instead, he goes to a diner and eats alone. Joey sees him eating and comes over, offering to give Johnny a ride home as a way to repay Johnny for taking Shannon home before.

As they are leaving, an extremely intoxicated Gibsie comes up to the car and gets in with them. He almost causes trouble by mentioning Shannon, but he passes out on the drive home.

At Johnny’s house, Joey helps Johnny take Gibsie inside. He then pulls Johnny aside and thanks him for looking after Shannon. He also warns him that Shannon needs a “friend” and not someone she will get attached to. Johnny agrees, though inwardly he thinks of how much he desires Shannon.

The next day, Shannon and Joey wake up to find that Aoife has bought groceries and left them money for food. She also took their two younger brothers to the park.

As Shannon and Joey drive to get food, a phone rings in the back seat. The phone belongs to Johnny, and Gibsie is calling it to figure out where they left it the night before. Joey agrees to bring the phone to Johnny’s house despite Shannon’s protests and her nerves at seeing Johnny.

At Johnny’s house, Gibsie is attempting to cook breakfast when Joey comes in. He comments on the size of Johnny’s large house and makes fun of Gibsie’s cooking abilities. As Joey takes over cooking, he tells Johnny that Shannon refuses to come in and is waiting in the car.

In the car, Shannon debates whether to go inside. She is still embarrassed at having thrown up in front of Johnny. She also thinks of how she isn’t “sure [she] can handle [her] feelings for him” (310). As she’s thinking, two of Johnny’s dogs come up to the car.

Shannon gets out to play with the dogs, but they knock her down. She plays with them as they jump on her, covering her with mud, and she struggles to keep them off her.

Johnny comes out and pulls the dogs away. As he tries to get Shannon to go inside, he notices the bruises on her face from her father. He demands to know what happened to her, but she lies and says she fell into a table. She tries to go back into the car, but Johnny assures her he will stop asking about the bruises and convinces her to go inside.

Inside, Joey and Gibsie serve breakfast. Joey comments on how dirty Shannon is and how bad she smells from the dogs. Shannon and Johnny insist it’s not that bad, but Joey refuses to let her ride in Aoife’s car. Gibsie offers to let her shower and change her clothes, and Shannon reluctantly agrees.

In Johnny’s room, Shannon takes in its size and all of his trophies, as well as several photographs of celebrities standing next to Johnny. She thinks of how little she knows about Johnny: Being in his room “seemed wrong, but felt so right” (318). Johnny leaves her to shower and goes back downstairs.

In the kitchen, Johnny sends Gibsie out of the room and then demands that Joey tell him who is hurting Shannon. However, Joey just stares at him, infuriating Johnny. Despite Johnny’s anger, Joey refuses to tell Johnny what is happening. He tells him that it is Shannon’s business. He also tells Johnny that he must really like Shannon to care this much, but if he wants to know what’s going on, then he needs to be “worth” telling for Shannon.

Just then, Joey’s phone rings. Johnny listens in as Joey angrily speaks with the person on the line. When he hangs up, he tells Johnny that he has to go but he is leaving Shannon there. As Johnny pushes for information, Joey tells him that their mother had a miscarriage and that their father is on his way home with her.

Johnny offers to bring Shannon home and is concerned about the fact that Joey is just leaving her there. However, Joey insists that he wants Shannon to stay with Johnny for now, so Johnny agrees to keep her at his house until he hears more.

As Shannon searches Johnny’s closet for something to wear, she becomes aware of the “social differences” between her and Johnny—his nice clothes, his mother being a successful fashion designer, and his father being a lawyer. In comparison to his life, she thinks her own “reeked of whiskey and pain” (327).

Johnny comes into the room and tells her what happened to her mother. Shannon is shocked by the fact that she feels “relief” over her miscarriage, as it is better if another child is not brought into their home. She then feels immense anxiety and fear over the thought of her father coming home. As Johnny tries to gauge her emotions, she breaks down and begins crying.

As Shannon cries, she climbs onto Johnny’s lap and he holds her. He asks her what he should do, and she replies, “[D]on’t let go,” then sobs in his arms. She thinks of how she can’t “live like this” anymore, having been so “alone” and “scared” her entire life (333).

Johnny takes Shannon downstairs and cooks for her in the kitchen. Shannon asks if Johnny’s parents will care that she’s there, and she mentions Bella. He insists that he never brought Bella to his house and that their relationship was “just physical.” He comments how he shouldn’t be talking to a 15-year-old about this, and Shannon reveals that it is her birthday and she is now 16. Embarrassed, Johnny says he should have gotten her a gift and mentions how bad it is for her parents to be going through this on her birthday. She asks that they not talk about her family, indicating that she would rather just not think about it, and he agrees.

They go into the living room and watch the Irish national rugby team play. Shannon notes how excited Johnny gets during the game. He tells her that he will play there one day and that he could bring Shannon to watch in the stands. She thinks of how badly she wants him to take her away. Eventually, she falls asleep “without an ounce of fear in [her] heart” because of his arm around her (342).

Shannon sleeps the entire day, with Johnny looking at her and allowing his anger to grow at the bruises on her. However, he insists he is not going to push her to talk about it. When his phone rings at 10 o’clock that night, it’s Joey saying that he is coming to pick Shannon up.

As Joey drives Shannon home, he tells her that he and Aoife have been talking about his future. He admits to Shannon that he can’t go back home and can’t live with their parents anymore.

At the house, the two sit outside together for several minutes and stare at their home. As Shannon gets out of the car, Joey tells her that he wants Shannon to “fight back” the next time their father touches her. He tells her to find the sharpest knife she can and “plunge it into his heart” (349). She simply says goodbye and gets out of the car.