Daydream

“I don’t give in to peer pressure, but this is the one time I did, and look where it’s gotten me. Not only do I need to stress about letting the entire team down, but I also need to worry about letting down everyone not on the team, who, through no fault of my own, believes in me. It’s so hard having supportive friends and family who don’t immediately assume the worst.”

Accepting the position as captain of the hockey team presents Henry with The Challenges of Personal Development. Henry loves hockey, his teammates, and his coach but is afraid of disappointing everyone who has believed in him thus far. One of the challenges in Henry’s character arc will be learning how to assert what he truly wants even if it means disappointing others’ expectations for him.

“It takes everything in me not to ask him to repeat himself. Blaise’s diner is popular with students because it’s cheap, the food is great, and it’s fairly close to campus. Will and I went there for lunch sometimes when he visited, and it’s usually full of big groups of friends hanging out. This is my third year at Maple Hills, and not once has someone asked me to hang out within an hour of meeting. I don’t think anyone’s asked me to hang out, period.”

Halle is drawn to Henry when they first meet because he treats her like a friend and an equal, introducing the theme of The Importance of Friendship. His invitation to Blaise’s diner piques her interest in his character and lets her know that Henry sees her as someone he’d like to get to know. This scene therefore foreshadows the friendship that will develop between the protagonists.

“I’m trying to be, but there’s something not clicking right now. I think I’m still trying to find my style or something. There’s a competition I want to enter but I can’t decide what to write about. I’m, I don’t know, seriously lacking in inspiration I guess. Weirdly, a song came on at the party last night that clearly wasn’t supposed to be part of the playlist and I thought about a plot, but I don’t know if it’ll go in anywhere. All my other ideas and drafts don’t feel good enough, so maybe something new is a better idea.”

Halle’s syntax and diction in this scene capture her desire to be vulnerable with Henry. Henry is a caring and empathetic character who gives Halle the space to open up about her dreams. The syncopated sentence structure and use of colloquial vocabulary capture Halle’s comfort with Henry. This moment also establishes the writing competition as a primary mode of self-expression for Halle’s character.

“‘Do you have the time?’ The honest answer is no, probably not, but I’m not going to tell him that. Especially since he’s maybe the first person to ever ask me if I have the time. Everyone else just assumes; my nana used to say it was a tale as old as time. She understood because she was also the oldest girl. She knew what it was like to be labeled the helpful one. The reliable one. The third parent.”

Halle’s role as the eldest sister dictates the way that she sees herself. In her family, she’s learned to take on responsibilities and to support others at the expense of her own desires and needs. She’s therefore surprised when Henry asks if she can help him, because she’s accustomed to others simply expecting her to make sacrifices without considering her life.

“Henry rolls his eyes but he’s still smiling. ‘You watch too many movies and I’m not a playboy. And no, I do believe in love. I just don’t value it over other types of love. There are people in my life I love. I love art. I love my parents, I watch my friends love each other. I just don’t see what the big deal is about romantic love. Everything seems more complicated when people fall in love with each other.’”

Henry and Halle’s conversation about love on their first date foreshadows the evolution of their relationship and The Transformative Power of Love. Henry is articulating his unique outlook on romantic and platonic relationships. His words inform the gradual evolution of his and Halle’s dynamic, especially as Henry later fears pursuing a romance with Halle at the expense of their friendship.

“I can’t work out if I had the dream because I’m attracted to him, or if I’m attracted to him because of the dream. Of course I’ve always known he’s attractive—I have eyes—but there’s definitely a difference between knowing something and actually being attracted to that something. Either way, I feel guilty about feeling hot and flustered over someone who’s done nothing but be a good friend to me.”

Halle’s sex dream about Henry begins to change how she sees Henry. Their relationship begins as a friendship and Halle doesn’t want her romantic and sexual interest in Henry to threaten their bond. This passage therefore intensifies the characters’ shared experiences and develops the novel’s “Friends to Lovers” trope.

“‘How would you feel if she dated someone else?’

‘Don’t know…I do know. I’d feel unhappy. I don’t understand why, though.’

Anastasia raises her shoulders and smirks at me, like she’s somehow just easily unraveled a great mystery. She hasn’t; I’ve already considered all of this. ‘Because you like her, Hen […] make a move before someone else does.’”

Henry’s friends help him to navigate his evolving relationship with Halle. Since Henry trusts Anastasia Allen, he goes to her for relationship advice in this scene. The open and honest way that the characters communicate illustrates The Importance of Friendship for Henry’s self-development as he navigates his developing feelings.

“The fact that I haven’t gotten laid in forever also doesn’t help my judgment when I’m going to have to look at Halle’s curves and ass all night. God, I miss sex. It’s not even that she looks fine; seeing how confident she got when everyone told her how great she looks makes me so proud of her. She thrives in a group setting, and I’m so relieved my friends have accepted her without question.”

The way that Henry thinks about Halle in the body of his narration conveys the complexity of the protagonists’ dynamic. Henry is a charming and attractive young man who has no trouble attracting sexual partners. He does feel physically attracted to Halle, but he doesn’t allow this attraction to trump his genuine care for her as a person, which leaves him feeling conflicted about a potential relationship. His growing emotional connection alongside his physical attraction to her speaks to The Transformative Power of Love.

“Henry never needs to worry about not giving me enough new experiences because they happen all the time. Like right now, while I'm disappointed that he doesn’t want to go to bed and take this further. I can guarantee this has never happened before.”

Halle and Henry’s relationship widens the scope of Halle’s world. Henry not only helps her to experience new things so that she can write her romance novel, but he also helps her to discover herself in new ways. Her sexual desire for Henry also contrasts with the apathy she felt toward Will.

“It’s affirming to hear them say the things I knew but had never been told before. Will made me feel like I was somehow lagging behind, that there’s something wrong with me. Looking back with fresh eyes, it’s kind of clear that aside from our relationship, I’m not sure he was a good friend. Cami and Aurora are good friends. ‘Thank you both. Seriously.’”

Halle’s new friends empower, support, and encourage her. Halle often feels self-conscious about her lack of sexual experience and fears that others will belittle her for being a virgin. In this scene, she discovers that her new friends in fact support her decisions and want the best for her. This moment marks a turning point in Halle’s character arc, as she’s gradually learning about The Importance of Friendship.

“For as much as not telling my mom about Will was for self-preservation reasons, avoiding hearing everyone else’s thoughts and emotions about a situation that only impacts me was a factor, too. Don’t get me wrong; if I called my mom heartbroken, she’d be on the first flight out here to comfort me. My family loves me as much as I love them, but my needs have never felt like anyone’s top priority, and my breakup would be no exception.”

Halle’s breakup with Will complicates her familial relationships, forming one of The Challenges of Personal Development that she must confront in the novel. Halle wants to be able to open up to her mom and siblings about her personal life. However, she has learned to dismiss her needs and emotions, especially since her mother strongly favored the relationship with Will. Therefore, Will’s character continues to create conflict in Halle’s life even after they stop communicating.

“I really fucking hate myself for not concentrating when Halle was here to help me earlier in the week. She warned me that I would struggle if I didn’t complete it with her because she was adamant I wouldn’t be able to do anything while away with the team. I don’t know why I’m like this and it makes me want to tear my hair out. In my head, I have an ideal scenario of how things will go. Whether that’s how I act, how my day goes, what I eat—everything works together in perfect harmony, and I thrive.”

One of The Challenges of Personal Development Henry faces is balancing his desire to do well in his classes with maintaining his friendships and team captain responsibilities. These competing demands often challenge him emotionally. This passage captures Henry’s attempts to balance the many facets of college life and the stress he feels when he fears he is losing control of his schedule.

“I’m supposed to be studying for my finals. I’m supposed to be hanging out with Henry. I’m supposed to be helping Gigi. I’m supposed to be baking for book club and finalizing the questions because I promised to still hold the session for people in town for the holidays. I’m supposed to be cleaning…I’m supposed to check in with Cami when we’re not at work…I’m supposed to plan the vacation.”

The use of anaphora in this passage enacts Halle’s anxious state of mind. Each sentence starts with the same three words. These repeating clauses reflect her harried, overwhelming mood which Hallie feels as a result of everything she has to do. This passage also captures The Challenges of Personal Development that Halle is trying to navigate while caring for herself.

“‘The thing I keep thinking is, what is the price of love? And how much is too much? At what point do you look at the choices you’re making and decide the price is too high? How much should we sacrifice for someone we care about?’ She’s glowing, and I can’t stop watching her. ‘I’m approaching this last act, and I honestly have no idea what’s going to happen, so I just wanted to get all my thoughts down while I could before writer’s block could hit me.’

She cups my face with her palm and kisses me gently. ‘Thank you for coming over so quickly.’”

Halle’s novel-writing project informs how she thinks about love and relationships. The novel is an extension of Halle’s true self. Therefore, when she tells Henry about the project, she is showing him her vulnerability and inviting him into her heart and mind.

“They’re going to want to see it, Henry. They’re definitely going to want to. I’m so proud of you, and I’m so honored that you’ve shared it with me. Do you want me to take your picture with it or something? This is so special. I feel like we need to commemorate it somehow.”

When Henry shows Halle the painting he made of his moms, he is inviting Halle into his personal life, reflecting the important motif of art in the novel (See: Symbols & Motifs). Halle’s effusive response in this scene at the gallery proves that she recognizes the significance of the painting and Henry’s decision to show it to her, as visual art is one of Henry’s primary forms of self-expression.

“‘I love the drawings. I love everything,’ I say, suppressing the urge to sob. ‘This is the most thoughtful thing anyone has ever done for me.’

‘I have nightmares that I’m going to accidentally ruin those recipes. Burn down your house, spill my drink, put it in the oven by mistake. I know how important they are to you, which has made my imagination go wild. I’m going to continue not to ruin your prized possession, but I figured if I was anxious about losing them you would be, too. Now you have a backup.’”

Henry gives Halle the digitized recipe book to show her how invested he is in her as a person and in her life. The gift lets Halle preserve an important part of her familial past and makes it easier for her to use her late grandmother’s recipes without worrying about ruining them. Furthermore, Henry’s decision to include his drawings in the project conveys his desire to merge their overlapping interests.

“It’s wild for me to realize that whenever I think of the first time I ever had sex, I won’t have to remember a time when I wasn’t ready with someone I didn’t truly want to be with. I’ll get to think of this moment, here with Henry, where he makes me feel as special as the whole night sky.”

Halle’s first sexual experience with Henry makes her feel safe, comfortable, and loved. This encounter is particularly significant for Halle considering her negative experiences with Will. In this passage, Halle employs a reflective tone that captures the significance of becoming intimate with Henry and The Transformative Power of Love.

“Calling Will my boyfriend destroyed our friendship. I’m scared that if we try to put a label on what we have it’ll change things. I don’t want things to change between us. I like them exactly as they are. We tell each other what we need, we see each other as much as we can, the sex…the sex is incredible. You make me laugh, you make me feel so cherished, Henry. What if I’m just not supposed to be someone’s girlfriend? I don’t want to risk it all going wrong. I just want to be exclusive. Am I asking for too much?”

The evolution of Halle and Henry’s dynamic presents the protagonists with unique interpersonal challenges. As their dynamic evolves into a sexual and romantic partnership, Halle and Henry try to decide how to categorize their connection without tainting it. Halle’s words in this scene contribute to the novel’s “Friends to Lovers” trope.

“I just didn't have any responsibilities at Will’s house. Nobody asked me to do anything, I never ended up covered in baby spit-up, and Will was just so laid back about everything that it was a respite from always trying to keep the peace in my own house. I know I don’t talk about him positively now, but I needed him then. He made me feel less lonely.”

Halle tells Henry more about her past with Will in order to help him understand her better. Henry doesn’t always like to hear about Will, but he understands that he has been an important part of Halle’s past. He gives her the space to conversationally process this complex relationship with him.

“If you were my real friend, Will, you would have told me to make myself my number-one priority. You’d have told me to say no to people. You think you know me because you’ve known me the longest, when really all you’ve known is the person I’ve conformed to make everyone else’s life easier.”

Will and Halle’s encounter at Halle’s house grants Halle the opportunity to stand up for herself. This is the first time that Halle has confronted Will about how his actions and behaviors have impacted her; the moment marks a turning point in Halle’s character arc and illustrates her newfound ability to claim her voice and defend her needs.

“‘Good!’ I yell back, the stress ricocheting around my body finally spilling over. I take a few steps toward her. ‘Because that Halle was miserable! And she was lonely! And she was stuck in a relationship with someone who pressured her to do things she wasn’t ready to do and made her feel like there was something wrong with her! I’m tired of worrying about your reaction to decisions I make about my own life!’”

The use of italics and punctuation in this scene of dialogue captures and conveys Halle’s intense emotional experience. The use of figurative language also illustrates how desperate Halle is to convey her feelings and needs to her mom. She is again claiming her voice and articulating vulnerable facets of her experience—actions that capture her desire to be seen for who she is and what she wants.

“Will told me that Henry would get bored of me. He told me that they were always going to be his friends, and I’d lose them, like I lost his, when Henry decided he didn’t want me anymore […] it’s the reason I’m so surprised when I answer the knock at my front door and Aurora, Emilia, Poppy, and Cami are standing on my doorstep.”

Halle’s new friends empower her to be a better, stronger, and more balanced person, reflecting The Importance of Friendship. After her conflicts with Will and Henry during the weekend of the hockey game, Halle fears that she is going to lose everyone she’s close with. However, her friends’ unannounced arrival at her home teaches Halle that she is valued and loved for who she really is.

“Just that I wasn’t in a good place and I wanted to get out of it so I didn’t make you the anchor. I don’t want to be a person who relies on you to fix everything. I can explain everything when you get home from vacation if you have questions. I’ll tell you anything you want to know.”

Henry learns how to rely upon his friends for support to maintain his balanced relationship with Halle. He knows that Halle has a habit of putting others’ needs before her own, and doesn’t want to burden her with his challenges. His words in this scene capture his desire to support Halle, to give her space, and to preserve his friendships while developing his relationship with Halle.