Grief Is for People

“Object permanence” is a term from the field of psychology that refers to a person’s knowledge that an item still exists even when it is not in sight. Babies learning object permanence is an important developmental stage: When babies learn this, they understand that, for instance, if they are shown a toy and then the toy is hidden from them, the toy has not ceased to exist. An object’s existence and identity, then, is not dependent on whether or not an outside person sees it.

Crosley applies this principle to her stolen jewelry: Though the jewelry is missing and thus out of sight, she assures herself that it remains present somewhere in the world. This gives her hope that the items can be recovered. As she experiences the stages of grief, in regard to Russell’s death, she copes by pretending that Russell, too, is still alive. She speaks specifically about searching for Russell around the globe, as if he is merely lost—like the jewelry—rather than permanently gone. The concept of object permanence, then, becomes a metaphor for Crosley moving from a state of denial to a state of acceptance, in a similar manner to the development that a baby undergoes.

PTSD is a psychological state that occurs after a person has experienced firsthand trauma. This trauma could involve physical harm—such as that suffered during a car accident—or could come about by witnessing violence—such as participating in wartime combat. The trauma could take the form of abuse of any kind. In the disorder, the sufferer relieves or re-experiences the traumatic occurrence as if it is happening again in real time. Physical manifestations of PTSD can include increased heart rate, heart palpitations, or racing thoughts.

Crosley experiences panic attacks in the aftermath of Russell’s death. Shocked by the death and unwilling to mentally and emotionally process the grief that immediately follows, Crosley’s body responds in a way that indicates that it believes itself to be under attack. It is by experiencing the unpleasant sadness and other emotions bound up in Russell’s death that Crosley is able to work through the trauma and end her body’s response.