Hush

Unlike Evie, the Toswiah in her class is short, loud, and constantly surrounded by friends. On her first day, when the teacher calls attendance, Evie accidentally responds “Here” to “Toswiah,” eliciting laughter from the rest of the class. At lunch one day, Toswiah and her friends surround Evie and question her about her background, demanding to know why she answered to “Toswiah.” Evie claims “Toswiah” is the name of her cousin, whom she misses dearly. Toswiah and her friends regard Evie carefully, and Evie remembers her mother’s warning to not make friends yet, as it is too dangerous.

One of Toswiah’s friends, Tamara, opposes Evie’s claim that it is pretty in San Francisco, and Toswiah tells her friend not to argue with Evie, as she is a “Joho” (Jehovah’s Witness), whose religion forbids her from fighting. Evie denies this, stating that her mother’s religion is her own business; however, she doesn’t pledge allegiance to the flag because her mother forbids her from doing so, causing Toswiah to call her a “Mama’s girl.” Evie tells the group that her family moved here from San Francisco because her father once read it was a better place to live; to this, Toswiah asserts “It’s the only place to live” (83), even as Evie longs to tell them about Denver. The group moves on to talk to someone else, and Evie is left feeling lonely.

Evie remembers an incident from the third grade, when she had seen lice crawling across her classmate Carla’s neck and screamed in horror. Their classmates had swarmed Carla to take a look, even as she sobbed. While Evie (Toswiah) got her head checked by her mother, she remembered Carla’s crying and felt relieved she wasn’t “cootie-girl.” Now, Evie feels like “cootie-girl”—people distance themselves and laugh at her behind her back.

Evie takes out a permission slip for gym class electives, circles “TRACK & FIELD,” and signs her father’s new name underneath it. Back in Denver, she had always been a fast runner, but has played hockey and basketball all her life. With these two sports unavailable, she decides to run: “it felt like [she’d] been running forever, so why stop?” (87).

Evie recalls a recent conversation with Anna, even as their parents argued in the next room—a common occurrence these days. Anna reminded Evie of her own advice to survive their current situation by dreaming of the “far, far future” (87), and doing everything she can to expediate it. The former has been studying hard and maintaining straight As with the aim of getting into Simon’s Rock College in Massachusetts, which admits students starting at age 16. She hopes to attend on scholarship, her ticket out of her new life. Anna assured Evie that she, too, would find her own way out.

It is Evie’s 14th birthday. She has grown considerably since the family left Denver, her clothes much too small now. The coconut cake this year is store-bought rather than homemade, as Shirley isn’t passionate about food anymore. Her new religion also forbids her from celebrating birthdays, so there are no candles on the cake or singing. Evie misses Lulu, as they had always spent their shared birthday together. Again, she vows to make up for the lost time in college.

At dawn, Jonathan enters Evie’s room to wish his “copper penny” a happy birthday, and for a moment, she feels as if all is well. However, when she fully wakes up, her father is by the window again. As Evie hugs him, she notices he smells like dirty clothes, and that his hair is unkempt. When Jonathan first started slipping, the federal agents had given Shirley a therapist’s contact, but eventually, these sessions stopped. Evie wishes she could tell her father that he did the right thing, but the words don’t come to her. She feels as if her and Anna are alone.

Suddenly, Shirley yells at Jonathan to look for a job. When Jonathan asks if she regrets the decision they made, Shirley hugs her Bible, and after a long pause, affirms that they did the right thing. When she suggests that Jehovah has a plan for them, Jonathan blows up, ranting about how he had been a policeman for 15 years, but his belief in justice died with Raymond Taylor. He feels conflicted about what happened, as well as the fact that Officers Randall and Dennis were sent to jail for manslaughter; Anna and Evie overhear this and exchange smiles.

Even as Shirley tries to comfort Jonathan, she begs him not to take away her faith, claiming it is the only thing she has. She is currently waiting to be certified to teach in a month. But until then, she meets with fellow Jehovah’s Witnesses every other day, and her daughters are expected to accompany her on Sundays. Having heard enough, Anna asks Shirley to leave Jonathan alone, before turning her schoolbooks. Shirley leaves the house with copies of Watchtower and Awake!, which she distributes to people on the street. Jonathan takes Evie’s hand, and she tells him that she is glad Officers Randall and Dennis went to jail. Leaning on her father’s shoulder, Evie remembers visiting her mother’s classroom a week before her 13th birthday and feeling proud of her.

Toswiah approaches Evie in school to ask about her supposed cousin, Toswiah. Evie thinks of Lulu as she describes the fictional Toswiah, claiming they don’t visit each other because their mothers, who are sisters, had a fight a long time ago. Toswiah confirms Anna as Evie’s sister and reveals that she, too, has an older sister, who is 17 years old and developmentally disabled. Evie doesn’t know what to say, so Toswiah turns to leave. The former manages to thank Toswiah for talking to her, and although the latter dismisses this, she turns and waves as she walks away. Evie feels a gentle breeze and wonders if it is a warm front “Coming in from Colorado” (108).

On a Sunday morning, Shirley berates her daughters for not going to Kingdom Hall (the place of worship for Jehovah’s Witnesses) enough. Even as Anna groans in bed, Evie prods her to wake up and get going, before Shirley’s fussing gets worse. Evie and Anna arrive for breakfast, and Shirley asks them if they thanked Jehovah for allowing them to wake up; both girls lie and say they did, even as Evie hopes that one day, Shirley will tell them that she was kidding about all her “God stuff.” Shirley tells the girls that it is important to be thankful for what they have, as she believes gratitude could have spared them their fate. She hopes to pay penance in some way and find a way back to happiness.

Anna and Evie begin to question Jehovah’s will, asking why he allowed someone like Hitler to flourish while Martin Luther King Jr. was killed; they also question their own family’s fate. Shirley asserts that God’s plan is a mysterious one, and that everything has a reason. She tells Anna that no one can take away her sense of self, calling her “Cameron.” The girls are shocked, and Anna breaks into a smile. As Shirley begins to read from the Bible, Evie asks for new sneakers. Jonathan promises her a new pair, even as the sisters begin to bicker. Shirley asks them to “Hush,” but smiles as she does so. She and the girls leave the house for Kingdom Hall.