I Let You Go

Jenna is out on bail. She has managed to elude Ray and Kate’s pointed questions again. She hadn’t expected to be released but is relieved. As she travels home, she sees news of her case on the Bristol Post, but her name is not mentioned. She tries to get groceries, but Nerys Maddock at the store ignores her and talks to someone behind her in Welsh.

Jenna is embarrassed, crying uncontrollably by the time she gets home. Patrick is not there, but the door is crudely painted with the words “Get Out.” She can’t get inside at first and kicks the door. When she does, the cottage feels cold and inhospitable, like the village. There is a note from Patrick about Beau.

She sends him a text and he replies that he’ll bring Beau over after work. Jenna decides to go to the beach while she waits. When she gets in the water, she keeps walking. She then thinks of Patrick, and it sends her back to reality: “I can’t do this. I can’t spend my whole life running from the mistakes I’ve made” (246). She laboriously swims back to shore, and when she gets there she is shaking from cold and the realization that she could do something unforgiveable.

Patrick brings back the dog. She asks him to come in, and he eventually agrees, though he is confused. She says she is sorry for lying to him. She wasn’t sure how to tell him about the killing. “I was frightened of what you might think” (248). He asks if she drove away from that boy without stopping to help. She says she did. He leaves. 

This chapter switches back to Ian’s perspective. He says that Jenna stayed over the first night, and he enjoyed it: “When you slept you were perfect” (249). Their relationship progresses. One day when she says she’s going out with some classmates, he tells her it is their three-month anniversary, and he has made reservations at Le Petit Rouge. He gives her a key. She tells him she will cancel with her friends. That night, he disapproves of her dress choice and suggests she wear jeans instead.

She keeps house for him now. One night, she is making lasagna and he decides to spoil it for her: “It was something to do with the pride on your face, or perhaps the way you seemed so comfortable, so secure. Too secure” (253). He says he is not hungry. Jenna mentions graduation; she says she might take the summer off and travel. When she shows resistance to his advice that she stay and find work, he suggests that she move in.

On the last day of term, Jenna gives Ian a gift as she moves in. It’s a kitten. He is angry that she did not think to ask him first. She cries when she sees how annoyed he is, but Ian realizes the animal might be good company for her while he is gone. He accepts the kitten, and Jenna offers sex as a reward.

Jenna becomes obsessed with the kitten, Gizmo. She neglects her work and leaves the house messy. Two weeks later, she goes out with her friend Sarah, and Ian remembers that Sarah is not a good influence. The kitten is bothering him, so he shuts it away. He hits it with a door as it mewls at him. The mewling enrages him, so he goes to the kitchen to quiet it.

When Jenna comes home, Ian is angry, waiting up for her. Gizmo is lying dead by the litterbox. He claims the kitten was in the living room, having escaped the kitchen, and had gotten into her ceramic glaze. She does not want sex that night, but he forces her because her selfishness has taken the pleasure out of it. 

Kate is looking at the card that Jenna had in her purse. Ray looks at it too, and they wonder what the logo means. Kate says Jenna reacted strangely when she picked it up: “It triggered something—something she didn’t want me to know about” (263). They decide to investigate, and go to 127 Grantham Street, the address on the card. When they ring the doorbell, a woman answers.

Ray says he’s looking for a friend named Jenna Gray. The woman does not know her. Kate asks her if she’s lived there a long time but gets a vague answer. They leave. Ray tells Kate the woman definitely knows something. He has taken a surreptitious picture of the woman, noticing that she is wearing a pin badge on her scarf. It is the same symbol as the one on the card. There is no doubt Jenna is connected with this place, but they don’t know how. 

Ian doesn’t want to meet Jenna’s family, and tries to get her to stay with him for Christmas. She begs him to come because she wants to show him off. He agrees as long as she stays home with him next Christmas. He asks about her day; she says she and some other artists are considering renting a studio together. He sees that she is serious, so he says he is thinking of moving to a place where she can have her own studio in the garden. Sarah calls while Jenna is showering; Ian tells her he passed on her message to Jenna. He checks Jenna’s handbag to make sure she went to the places she said she did, then pockets her extra money.

In the present day, Ian relates that after Jenna left him, he didn’t notice until bedtime. He decided not to go after her, assuming that she went off with another man. He imagines the police interrogating her. Ian goes to Oxford to see Jenna’s sister. She is not thrilled to see him. In fact, Ian can see that she is frightened of him. He tells Eve he is looking for Jenna, but Eve does not know where she is—she hasn’t seen her for five years. But as they talk, Ian sees her eyes go to the mantelpiece, and discovers there a photograph of a beach with the words “Lady Eve.” Under a pretense he returns to the card later and rips it up when he finds there is no message, hiding it behind a clock. At home, he begins his search for the beach in the picture. He says, “I will find you, Jennifer. Wherever you’ve gone to, I’ll find you. And then I will come for you” (274).