It's Kind of a Funny Story

Craig lies awake, knowing he won’t sleep. He keeps Cycling about his bad luck with girls, his struggles in school, and his overwhelming desire to feel like he is “winning.” When his mother realizes that he is awake, she offers him some cheerios, which he accepts. When he goes back to bed, he plans what to do with his bike, which he will use to get to the Brooklyn Bridge. He decides to chain it to the fence to give his parents closure. As Craig waits, his Cycling intensifies. He can hear his heart beating, making the sound “Badoom.” The rhythm is soothing and cleansing. Craig realizes, “I want my heart, but my brain is acting up” (140). He remembers a book on his Mom’s shelf called How to Survive the Loss of Love. He goes downstairs and begins reading it. The book directs him to the suicide hotline in the yellow pages. Craig finds the number and calls.

Someone named Keith with the Brooklyn Anxiety Management Center picks up Craig’s call. He explains that the suicide hotline is so busy on Friday nights that they need an overflow. Craig thinks, “I’m common even in suicide” (143). Keith walks him through a five-step exercise to manage anxiety, telling him that there are no “shoulds” or “woulds” in the universe, only other ways that things could have turned out. When this doesn’t really do much, Keith recommends that Craig call the National Suicide Hotline. That call is picked up by Marissa, who tells Craig it was courageous of him to reach out for help. She convinces him to check himself into the hospital down the street.

Craig arrives at the hospital and begins filling in paperwork which makes him feel like he’s getting into a “special academy.” The nurse writes down “suicidal ideation” which Craig thinks would make a great band name. She applauds Craig for coming to the hospital, reassuring him that he did the right thing. She brings him back to Room 22 where he waits to see the doctor. Outside the room, a man on a stretcher cries out for the nurses. Army Guy begins talking to Craig, saying “Life’s not about feeling better; it’s about getting the job done” (16). A police officer sits outside the room and Craig thinks that maybe the man on the stretcher is a heroin addict hoping to get painkillers. The physician, Dr. Data, arrives and Craig tells her about everything except the voice in his head. She assures him that the best psychologist, Dr. Mahmoud, will arrive soon. Craig imagines Dr. Mahmoud will immediately treat him, give him fast-acting Zoloft, “and I’ll be on my way” (164). When Craig goes to call his parents, the police officer tells him not to go anywhere without asking. Craig realizes the officer is there to watch him.

Craig calls his Mom, who is relieved to hear that he is okay. She tells Craig this is the “bravest” and “most-life affirming thing you’ve ever done” (169). Craig muses that she seems happier to hear he’s in the hospital than when he got into high school. An old, thin, and bald Black man is checked into Room 21. Craig returns to Room 22, contemplating whether drugs would have helped his depression. The police officer, Chris, brings Craig breakfast. As Craig eats, he overhears the doctor talking with the man in Room 21, named Jimmy, who says he woke up and his room was on fire. A nurse takes Craig’s heartbeat. As he listens, he thinks “That’s you. That’s your heart” (174). Dr. Mahmoud, a large man in a dark suit, with gray hair and bushy eyebrows, arrives at the same moment as Craig’s mother, who has her dog, Jordan, tucked into her purse. Craig agrees to be admitted into the adult ward, since the area for teenagers is being renovated. Dr. Mahmoud promises that Craig will feel a lot better soon. A “hippie-looking guy” (179) named Smitty walks Craig to “Six North,” the adult psychiatric floor. When they arrive, it hits Craig: “I’m in the mental ward” (181).