Knife: Meditations After an Attempted Murder

Rushdie felt that his miraculous survival was a second chance at life. Thinking of a Raymond Carver poem in which Carver called this kind of second chance “gravy,” Rushdie resolved to think of his remaining time as a kind of bonus, living each day as it came without too much thought about the future. He was delighted when Victory City was published and critics engaged with it seriously, seemingly not motivated by sympathy for what he had just been through. He was gratified by the support he got from fellow authors, who stepped in to do publicity events when he was still too weak to attend them himself. He was pleased to be writing again and thinking about future novels to work on once he completed Knife.

Despite all these positive developments, however, Rushdie and Eliza still experienced post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). Rushdie attended therapy and worked on more openly expressing his feelings about the trauma, while Eliza decided that she needed some time away and went to the Caribbean. Afterward, they both decided to go to London to visit his family. He contacted Scotland Yard, which had managed his security while he was in hiding in the wake of Khomeini’s death edict against him. They agreed to offer him protection, which he was grateful for, but he also felt as if it was a kind of slipping back into a past he desperately wanted to put behind him, when he was hidden away and unwelcome in many public venues. When he and Eliza arrived in England, he was relieved to find that his security detail was happy for him to go wherever he pleased and that he and Eliza were warmly welcomed at any hotels, restaurants, and other public places they visited. Rushdie felt cherished by his family and by Eliza, whose newly published book, Promise, featured a loving dedication to Rushdie. He decided to devote his remaining time on earth to love and his work.

When Rushdie briefly reactivated his Twitter (X) account to promote Victory City, he was disheartened to see “Muslim voices celebrating what had happened to [him]” (179) and decided to delete the app again. He thought about the two conflicting stories that different people believed about who he was, and he saw it as emblematic of “a wider battle of stories that bedevils us all” (179). He recalled a speech he gave at a PEN America conference in 2022, in which he characterized the rift between supporters of tyranny and supporters of freedom as a war between stories about reality. He compared Russia’s invasion of Ukraine to American racist and antidemocratic movements and to religious sectarianism and authoritarianism in India, saying that writers have a responsibility to use their own, truthful stories to battle against the false narratives that enable tyranny. Reflecting on his remarks at that conference, Rushdie decided that part of his work must be to use his writing to oppose authoritarianism and discrimination.

He notes that this resolution does not mean he is still interested in arguing about religion. He lays out his position one final time, intending it as his last public statement on the subject. Rushdie is not religious himself and was not raised in an observant family. He acknowledges that for some people religion provides a necessary moral compass, and he thinks this is fine, provided that their religion remains a private matter. When religion becomes a political weapon, however, it is dangerous; he cites several historical examples to support his point. For Rushdie, this private/public distinction is important when considering people’s reluctance to criticize religious ideas: He is all for letting people have their own, private beliefs but he believes that any ideas introduced into the public sphere should be fair game for criticism.

Rushdie believes that religions were useful ways to explain the world in prescientific times. He compares long-ago people to children who required the “parent” of religion to explain the world and set boundaries on behavior. He believes that humans are now adult enough to let go of religion, embrace scientific explanations, and let their own inner moral sense guide them. He acknowledges the influence of both Muslim and Christian thought on his own writing and worldview but points out that this is not the same thing as being a believer. His atheism is a core part of his identity and will never change.

Another of Rushdie’s preoccupations during this period was the idea of attending the court proceedings against his attacker. He wanted to look the man in the face and speak directly to him, and he thought he might get the opportunity to do so when he testified at the man’s trial. However, it looked like the A. might change his plea to “guilty” and accept a plea bargain. Lawyers assured Rushdie that the sentence, even in this case, would be lengthy enough that the man would never be free during Rushdie’s lifetime. The process, in any case, could take many months.

At the 2023 PEN Gala, Rushdie received the PEN America Centenary Courage Award. He recalled that in 2015, when the award was offered posthumously to the murdered Charlie Hebdo journalists, many people objected because the magazine had published satire of Islam—though they seemed unbothered by its satire of Christianity and Judaism. Rushdie had defended Charlie Hebdo and lost several long-standing friendships with people on the other side of the debate. Nevertheless, the 2023 Gala was a joyful event for Rushdie. He used his speech to thank the people who had saved his life and to renew his call for free speech even in the face of threats of violence.