Lawn Boy

Mike must babysit his brother Nate, who has mental disabilities, and keep him from going “ape shit” (5).

Mike describes his love of reading. He reads two to four books a week and sees his literary habit as a form of “self-improvement” (6). Referring to himself in the third person, he says: “You see, old Mike Muñoz would like to figure out who the hell he actually is, what he’d actually like to do with his life” (6). He is currently reading a book called the Octopus, which is about “corporate tyranny in the 1800s” (7).

Mike’s brother Nate burns a pizza after putting it in the oven with the plastic cover still on and turning on the broiler. Nate becomes irate and tearful over the loss of the pizza. Mike calms him by giving him Oreos.

Mike’s mother tells him that she picked up an extra shift at work and will be gone the next night. Mike is disappointed that the extra shift means he will have to stay home with Nate. He was planning to hang out at Mitzel’s, a local restaurant. He has developed a casual relationship with a waitress named Remy, whom he is considering asking out. He doesn’t tell his mother about his plans and assures her by saying: “I got it” (10).

Mike recalls a day from his childhood when he, his brother Nate, and his friend Nick had their picture taken in front of the Bainbridge fire station, where Mike’s mother brought them for the fire department’s annual pancake breakfast.

Mike gazes at the picture. He describes Nate at age 11 as “a half foot taller than Nick or me” with short hair so he wouldn’t “pull it out or catch it on fire” (12). He describes Nick as his age but older looking with a “good-natured grin” and defiant eyes (12). He describes himself as “a sad-eyed ferret of a kid, skinny and bewildered, slight olive complexion, dark rings under my eyes” (12).

Looking back, Mike infers that the photo reinforces his philosophy that looking outward for answers in life is more effective than introspection. He says: “A kid gets more by throwing a ball or wrestling with a dog” (13).

Mike goes out to eat at Mitzel’s and sits at Remy’s table. Nate is with him. He reflects about how Nick doesn’t think Remy is attractive and, in fact, doesn’t approve of most of the girls that Mike has shown an interest in. For example, Nick describes Amy, a checker at Rite Aid, as resembling Matt Damon.

When Remy arrives to take their order, Mike ponders: “What was stopping me from asking this woman out?” (17).

Nick arrives at the restaurant and refers to Remy’s “Man Hands,” which annoys Mike. Nick then berates Mike for not asking Remy out yet. Mike tells Nick to get off his back. Nick accuses Mike of being too sensitive and makes an anti-gay comment about another patron at the restaurant: “Speaking of fags: look at that homo by the window” (18). Mike objects to Nick’s homophobic remark. Nick asks Mike if he is gay. Mike responds that he is not but adds that someone’s lifestyle shouldn’t make any difference and that “fags are just people” (18). He points out that Nick likes Rock Hudson, who is gay.

Mike remembers a secret that he would never reveal to Nick: When he was in the fourth grade, he sexually experimented with another fourth-grade boy that included touching each other’s penises.

After Nick leaves, Nate demands dessert. When Mike tells him they can’t afford it, an enraged Nate throws a saltshaker across the dining room, shattering a glass picture frame on the wall. Remy avoids Mike and Nate’s table after the incident. Mike laments missing a chance to ask Remy out because of his brother.

Mike recalls the time he lost his virginity at a birthday keg party during his junior year in high school: At Nick’s urging, he starts a conversation with Gina Costerello, a girl in his home economics class. He reminds her that they made pizza together and that she burned him.

Gina tells Mike that he’s “kind of cute” (24). She takes him to her Malibu, which is parked down the road from the party, unbuttons his pants, and initiates sex with him. Mike describes the encounter as “more like a transaction” than a courtship, noting that there was “never to be a repeat performance with Gina” (24, 26).

After losing their house on the reservation because of a steep rent hike, Mike and his family are forced to live in a 1987 Astro van and shower at a state park. They eventually move in with Mike’s aunt, who greets them when they arrive with a racist remark about Mexicans.

Mike’s mother lands a second job at an elementary school, which allows them to move into another rental on the reservation. However, they are forced to down-size to a one-bedroom a year later because of another rent hike.

Meanwhile, Mike’s mother has two short-lived marriages to men who are “work averse.” Neither marriage lasts two years.

Mike enjoys doing landscaping work even though some of his clients are rich and entitled. He is often creative with his yard work, shaping “zoo animals, naked chicks, or just your basic geometric shapes out of your garden-variety shrubs” (32).

Describing one busybody client who is always home on Tuesday, Mike says: “I have no idea what he did to become so rich, but my guess is next to nothing. Whatever the case, he sure doesn’t know how to enjoy it. Every time you look up, the guy is watching you out a window, and he wants you to know it” (32).

Mike is disgusted when his boss orders him to clean up dog poop at a client’s property. He tries to perform the repugnant task in the rain but becomes frustrated and walks off the job.

A day after the dog poop incident, Mike tells his boss, Lacy, that he was hired to mow lawns and do landscaping, not to pick up a clients’ dog poop: “Maybe they think they’re too good to pick up their dog shit, but that’s their problem, not mine” (39).

Lacy tells Mike that he’s fired. As Mike is packing up his stuff to leave, his co-worker Tino questions him about the type of work he can do and promises to keep his eyes open for possible job opportunities for Mike.

Mike recalls how he idolized Doug Goble, who would later become one of the most successful real estate agents in Kitsap county. He was impressed with Goble because he “had confidence, charisma even, though he was poor like me and, like me, lived on the res in a manufactured home with dirty siding and a cluttered carport” (43). When Goble abruptly abandons their friendship, Mike thinks it’s because he was “a loser or maybe just a sucker” (44).

Mike remembers how Goble showed off his budding entrepreneurial skills in sixth grade, trading in lunch tickets and selling his mother’s cigarettes to high school freshmen: “Goble always had a plan, always knew what he wanted, never lacked ambition or nerve,” (44) Mike recalls.

Now without a job, Mike retreats to his refuge—the library, the only place where he can get what he wants for free. Scanning the fiction section, he looks for a book written by a landscaper or cannery grunt, “something about modern class struggle in the trenches” (46). He thinks about writing the Great American Landscaping Novel, then ponders how landscapers or cannery grunts are too busy paying bills to write novels.

The librarian is wearing a shirt that says, “Be the Change You Want” (47). When he asks Mike what he is looking for, Mike says: “Something angry. […] I like the last one you gave me—The Octopus. It made me want to put a brick through a window” (48).

At Tequila’s bar, Mike’s friend Nick complains that the town looks like Tijuana even though he has never been there. He also makes an anti-gay comment about the youth pastor’s son, who is standing by the jukebox. Nick refers to him as a “fag” and “a total homo.” Mike tells him he sounds like “a dumbshit” (49).

Mike applies for a job at Subway. Reading his resume, the manager observes that Mike doesn’t have any food service experience. The manager asks him if he is available evenings, and Mike replies: “Evenings are tough. I watch my big brother” (52). The manager responds, “My Big Brother, huh? Is that HBO?” (52).

Mike then applies for a job at a newspaper. The managing editor asks him: “Do you have any idea what a newspaper looks like in 2016? I am the reporter. And the managing editor. I write the obits, too—that’s our moneymaker” (54). He asks Mike if he is good at answering phones and selling. When Mike tells him he sent a writing sample of a fictitious story, the editor responds that he didn’t ask for a writing sample and abruptly ends the interview.

Mike’s mother rents out the shed to the doorman-bouncer from the bar where she works. Mike complains that he won’t have any place to store his lawn mower and tools.

Mike’s friend Tino lines up a one-day lawn-cutting job for Mike. Mike would fill in for a member of a crew who injured his foot. However, Mike’s truck breaks down, and he never makes it to the job.

Freddy, the family’s new tenant, advises Mike that he needs to find gainful employment, a woman, and his own place.

Mike reads Upton Sinclair’s The Jungle on the way to the Safeway to cash in his loose change. He reflects on the novel’s themes: “Poverty. Injustice. The Man” (64). They remind him of his own life.

At the Safeway, Mike runs into an Indian kid with broken teeth who often hangs out in front of the store playing a guitar and seeking donations. After listening to him play “Magic Carpet Ride,” Mike gives him $3 and some change.

When Mike returns home, he notices that his lawn mower has been stolen in broad daylight.

Mike goes out to a local store with $2.39 in his pocket to buy a Schmidt Ice tallboy beer. While waiting in line, he runs into Remy. The clerk tells Mike he is 32 cents short because of the tax on the beer. Mike asks the clerk to put the rest on his debit card. The clerk responds that there’s a three-dollar minimum for charges. Mike realizes that if he charged the whole amount, it would overdraw his account because he has only $2.03, and he doesn’t have overdraft protection. Mike tells the clerk he needs to run out to his truck to get more money even though he walked to the store and his truck has been impounded.

Remy steps forward and pays the remaining 32 cents of Mike’s bill. She then offers to give him a ride home. On the way to Mike’s place, Mike tells Remy he’s a writer, and she tells him: “That’s so cool” (70). Mike insists that Remy let him out before they arrive at his house because he is ashamed of where he lives and doesn’t want her to see his place. He reflects on the fact that he didn’t ask her out because he has no wheels or job.

Mike recalls a rare outing with his father right before he disappeared from his life completely when Mike was 11. His father took him to a McDonald’s. They ordered food and sat in the parking lot. His father addresses him as Nate, and Mike corrects him: “I’m Mike.” His father tells him: “It’s not your fault I couldn’t deal with you or your brother or your mom, that’s on me. […] I just didn’t want you, okay? You’re not what I signed up for. And that’s not your fault.” […] You couldn’t help it. You’re just you” (76).