Sandwich

These chapters provide further insight into Nick’s character, particularly his strengths as a husband. Rocky’s menopausal hormones continue to wreak havoc on her ability to manage stress, and she finds herself unduly angry during a minor moment of disagreement with Nick. She describes “rage fizzing up inside” her rib cage and notes how quick to anger she has become lately (53). Nick responds with his characteristic patience and calm. Rocky remembers how patient he was when she was an overwhelmed young mother and is grateful that he hasn’t lost this quality as he too enters middle age. It’s increasingly obvious that although Rocky is the emotional center of the family, Nick provides strength and stability, and his ability to remain calm in the face of difficulty anchors his family. Nick also displays his generosity of spirit when discussing Rocky’s aging parents with her. Her father is increasingly prone to verbal gaffes and moments of unkindness, and Rocky finds their relationship difficult to manage in ways that it never was before. Nick’s assertion that Mort’s behavior wasn’t “new information” about him and that everyone is imperfect shows a kind of circumspect wisdom that Rocky herself can’t access in her relationship with her parents. Her conversation with Nick about her father foreshadows later revelations as the novel progresses: Shifting Family Dynamics continues to be a focal theme, and Rocky always struggles with it more than Nick does.

Perimenopause is proving difficult for Rocky to navigate, but she also reflects in these chapters on her reproductive system challenges in a broader sense, which helps develop the theme of Women’s Reproductive Health. She recalls her younger days and struggles with birth control (including IUDs) and a host of gynecological infections that she was unfortunately prone to just because of the way that her particular body responded to sexual activity and pregnancy. She’s frustrated that her reproductive biology impacted so much of her life, and these moments of reflection become an important way for the novel to engage with issues that impact many women but are often considered taboo or unpleasant to discuss. Rocky’s health history thus raises awareness about women’s health issues in general and creates relatability for readers who have had similar experiences. This kind of representation typifies Newman’s work as a whole and grounds the novel within her broader body of writing. Rocky also muses on the different medical pathways offered to men and women in the field of reproductive health and identifies misogyny within the medical establishment. Medications like Viagra are readily available, but treatment options for the way that perimenopause impacts vaginal health and sexual activity are costly. Here, too, Newman engages with an issue that many perceive as too “delicate” for polite conversation and normalizes problems that many women face during middle age.

Rocky’s characterization is also a focal point in these chapters, and her relationship with Maya becomes an especially important window into her personality. Rocky’s sneaking suspicion that Maya is pregnant and the watchful eye she keeps on her son’s girlfriend do in some way reflect Rocky’s boundary issues. She’s entirely willing to admit this and understands that ultimately Maya’s body is none of her business, but the complexity of her character is apparent when Maya reaches out to her with the news that she is, in fact, in the early stages of pregnancy. Rocky is supportive and calm and tells Maya that her decision is her choice—whatever she chooses will be the right decision. Rocky is empathetic and kind toward Maya and further reveals the important role of caretaking in her identity. Rocky’s children might be grown, but she’s still ready to lend emotional support when they need it.

In this section of the novel, Rocky’s self-reflection begins to be more honest and open. Nostalgia and the Passage of Time remains a key theme, but Rocky admits to herself that nostalgia can be an unreliable narrator. In addition to remembering the happy moments of life with toddlers, Rocky recalls how draining those years were. She admits that she “daydreamed about running away” (85). Her reflections create a frank, honest depiction of parenting. She isn’t afraid to engage with the not-so-glamorous moments of caring for children and the not-so-charitable moments of doubt that are common in young parents but difficult for many people to admit to or discuss. Rocky’s relationship with Nick also comes into greater focus during these memories: She recalls how excited he was when he learned she was pregnant but how ambivalent she felt. Because of Nick’s hands-off parenting style, he was less overwhelmed than Rocky. The gendered imbalance during the early years of their marriage becomes more apparent here, and Rocky’s willingness to admit how difficult she found their relationship during that time reveals her increasing ability to face rather than gloss over difficult memories.