Simon Sort of Says

Friendship is one of the most important sources of healing and growth in Simon’s new life in GNB. Simon meets two people who transform his world and change his disposition: Agate and Kevin. Additionally, relying on Hercules and having Hercules rely on him bolsters his healing process as well. Having strong pillars of support in his life is what gives Simon the space and courage to accept his past and begin to find himself again.

At first, Simon feels like he needs to hide parts of himself from both Agate and Kevin, fearing judgment or the wrong sort of attention. As a person, Agate is unafraid, unapologetic about who she is, and open about her own problems. She does not judge or question Simon, instead accepting him exactly as he is. Kevin is laidback and trusting, and although it takes time for Kevin to accept the truth about Simon, he becomes almost as important as Agate in Simon’s own journey of healing. Agate uses Simon’s confession as an opportunity to learn about PTSD and help Simon: “She is pink with pedaling and being upside down, and there is grass and emu feathers in her tangled red hair, but she looks at me the way people look at stars. There is nothing in her eyes but openness, and wonder” (147). Kevin, on the other hand, shies away from something so painful and difficult to discuss. When Kevin apologizes for being distant and the three kids become a friendship trio, it seems that nothing can stop them from achieving their goal of faking a message from space, and Simon finds a nook for himself in which he feels confident and comfortable.

Simon also comes to rely heavily on Hercules, a dog who proves to be more than just a service puppy but also a loyal friend. Simon has to take care of Hercules, which forces Simon to grow and focus on something outside of himself. Simon must help Hercules overcome his own fears, such as the fear of crowds and of riding a bike, and seeing Hercules become braver and more assured helps Simon do the same. Hercules acts as a source of strength when Simon cannot find his own.

By the end of the novel, Simon feels an internal shift and becomes stronger as a person: “Something big. Something big has happened. It’s happened inside me, like…like something getting born, stretching out, like I just hatched and have wings. I feel light and heavy and super weird and like I could be a tornado and like I could run across America forever” (258). The night of the alignment is a powerful scene that exhibits the full extent of Simon’s bond with his new friends and how such simple experiences can be deeply transformative. When Agate jumps out of the treehouse with Simon during the story’s climax, it is a dramatic demonstration of how powerful their bond really is and how much support Simon has in his life.

Trauma is often not an individual experience, though it will be different for everyone involved. When someone is part of a connected family unit, their own painful experiences can ripple outward and affect the others in the family, though to a lesser extent. Simon and his parents are all healing in their own ways after Simon became the lone survivor of a school shooting. While Simon grapples with his own PTSD and adjusting to a new life, his parents learn to let go and trust that Simon will be okay.

Simon’s parents homeschooled him after the shooting and then, almost two years later, agreed to move with him to the National Quiet Zone. For a long time, Simon assumes that his parents made this move for him, but when he voices this concern, his mother makes it clear that she wanted to leave Eagle Crest just as badly. Simon’s parents are more permissive than most might be, in part because they want to do whatever is needed for Simon to heal and in part because they want him to find his strength and independence again. They let him get a dog with no notice at all and lie with him under the bed all day on the anniversary of the shooting. Simon’s parents understand his needs, often without him saying anything at all, and are ever-present in his life. Although they struggle with the thought of Simon’s life being in danger again, they allow him to go out on his own and become more self-assured.

Simon realizes that his “parents are traumatized too” and usually gives them the same understanding that he receives from them (176). While arguments do occasionally happen, Simon knows that his mother and father were traumatized by the near loss of their son and by the aftermath of the deaths that occurred. Simon’s mother was responsible for many of the funerals for the children and had to endure a more direct experience with their deaths. Simon’s dad makes an attempt to voice and release his trauma when he gives a divisive sermon in church about God not having a plan. This in turn inspires Simon to start opening up as well. Simon and his parents form a solid unit and are always there for one another, and it is for this reason that Simon can start to look forward to his future again: “Mom hugs me like an eagle, and Dad hugs me like a bear. I think I’m going to be okay” (265).