The Bromance Book Club

The Importance of Communication is a central theme in The Bromance Book Club, and the lack of communication between Gavin and Thea is evident from the novel’s beginning. Gavin’s struggles with communication stem from both internal and external factors: His stutter is a communication barrier, making him hesitant and insecure when expressing his emotions. This insecurity is compounded by his fear of vulnerability, particularly when admitting mistakes or addressing deeper marital issues. For instance, after discovering Thea has been faking her orgasms, Gavin’s response is to avoid the conversation, refusing to confront the problem head-on. Externally, Gavin relies too heavily on nonverbal cues and assumptions about Thea’s feelings, further deepening the disconnect. He and Thea retreat into silence and anger, allowing resentment to fester and misunderstandings to grow.

The pivotal moment encapsulating the breakdown in their relationship occurs when Gavin asks Thea if she has always faked her orgasms, to which she replies, “No. Not always. Just since the girls were born […] How the hell did it take you this long to notice?” (51). Thea admits she is “sick of lying […] sick of wearing a fake smile. Sick of pretending things were fine” (51), yet she never communicated her struggles to Gavin and expected him to notice without being told. By the time the conversation occurs, Thea is already resentful, and Gavin’s pride is wounded, making productive communication impossible without a significant shift on both sides. While Gavin undoubtedly takes Thea—who supports his dreams while largely putting her own aside—for granted, her unrealistic expectation that he will instinctively understand her feelings further contributes to their communication failure, again highlighting The Importance of Communication.

If Gavin’s stutter symbolizes his struggle with communication, the wall separating the living and dining rooms represents Thea’s. Thea despises the wall in their house; however, she has only ever masked her dissatisfaction, decorating it to make it bearable: “She’d tried to make it work, the wall. She’d hung family photos in quirky patterns […] All with the idea that someday she’d fix it” (11). This “make it work” approach mirrors her approach to marriage, where Thea pretends everything is fine instead of addressing the underlying issues until a point of implosion. When she finally begins tearing the wall down, Gavin’s reaction is more of surprise than dismay. His simple statement—“Maybe we should talk about it before you—” is met with Thea’s response, “Maybe we should have talked about a lot of things” (17). The wall becomes a metaphor for their relationship: Gavin ignores the problems while Thea covers them up, and when conflict arises, Thea wants to destroy the problem while Gavin hesitates, preferring to talk it through. Additionally, Thea’s sister, Liv, takes Gavin’s prized baseball bat to the wall, and Thea stops her because of the bat’s importance to Gavin. However, when Gavin abruptly enters and speaks, Thea takes the bat and strikes the wall with it herself, suggesting that Gavin’s approach to communication has grown so intolerable to her that she would rather end their marriage than proceed as usual.

Gavin’s communication difficulties extend to his friendships as well. He is too embarrassed to tell Del the real reason for his breakup with Thea, illustrating his reluctance to open up. This reluctance is partly due to toxic masculinity—or traditional expectations of masculinity that cause harm and apply unsustainable pressure—which the Bromance Book Club actively seeks to challenge as they examine Gendered Stereotypes and Norms. Gavin’s journey toward breaking down his traditional approach to masculinity begins with romance novels from the book club. Initially, he thinks his friends are mocking him by suggesting a book could help him repair his marriage. He dismisses the idea that reading a romance novel, which he views as a genre designed for women, could have any impact. However, he begrudgingly agrees to try it, though he does not take the reading seriously in this section of the novel.

Mack pushes Gavin’s boundaries further when he offers him a pumpkin spice latte, challenging another aspect of gendered norms. Even Del admits to liking the drink but is too embarrassed to order it himself. Mack comments, “The backlash against the PSL is a perfect example of how toxic masculinity permeates even the most mundane things in life. If masses of women like something, our society automatically begins to mock them. Just like romance novels” (54). This conversation, followed by Mack and Del demonstrating their flirting techniques, pushes Gavin further out of his comfort zone, as he relies on avoidance when faced with problems. However, like Thea, Gavin is playing a role—one that hides his true self beneath the layers of gendered expectations he begins to dismantle through his interactions with the club.

Thea also struggles against gendered stereotypes and norms in her role as a WAG, a term used to denote the wife or girlfriend of a professional sports player. A free spirit, artist, and activist by nature, Thea never aspired to be the spouse of a professional baseball player. In fact, she loves Gavin despite his career, not because of it. However, she is thrust into the role of a WAG: “Thea had to figure it all out on her own with infant twins because Gavin was gone more than he was home. And somehow in the process, she got lost until she no longer even recognized herself” (21). In supporting Gavin, Thea subverts her own identity and dreams, sacrificing her individuality to fit into the mold expected of her as a sports spouse. This role, accompanied by societal pressure to be the perfect, supportive partner, clashes with her true nature, fueling her dissatisfaction and disconnect in the marriage and ultimately creating powerful resentment. Feeling trapped by the expectations placed on her as both a mother and the wife of a public figure, Thea suppresses her true self and hides her struggles from Gavin until she reaches a breaking point—the discovery of her pretending to orgasm. This becomes a moment of self-reclamation for Thea while pushing Gavin into shame because of his belief that a man should satisfy his wife, thus making the first dent in his view of traditional masculinity.