The Collected Regrets of Clover

Sebastian meets Clover to discuss his family’s plans to visit Claudia. They talk about the emotional toll of dealing with Claudia’s condition and her son’s reluctance to be with his mother during this time. Sebastian learns about Hugo, Claudia’s former lover. He is intrigued by the story of Claudia’s past and surprised about his grandmother’s infidelity, as she was engaged to his grandfather at the time, and finally agrees with Clover’s suggestion to possibly contact Hugo. Sebastian agrees to allow Clover to go to Maine to search for Hugo, and he offers to accompany her on the trip to help Claudia find peace.

As Clover is shopping for treats for her pets, she runs into her neighbor, whom she calls Julia, outside a café. She attempts to avoid Julia, and her emotional turmoil intensifies after seeing Julia and Sylvie kiss. Witnessing Julia and Sylvie sharing a romantic moment leaves Clover feeling betrayed and heartbroken. She returns home and begins packing for her trip to Maine. Later, Sylvie visits her to return a check that was mistakenly delivered to her mailbox. An awkward encounter prompts Clover to confront Sylvie about her involvement with Julia, whose real name is Bridget. Clover accuses Sylvie of ruining the relationship between her neighbors, who are happily married. This leads to an emotional meltdown and strained relations between the two friends.

Clover wakes up after a sleepless night, still dwelling on the incident involving Sylvie and Bridget. She gets ready for her trip to Maine with Sebastian, reflecting on her infrequent travels and the sense of freedom that comes with them. Sebastian arrives late, as always, and they set off on their road trip. The two of them experience an awkward, chatty car ride, with Sebastian discussing topics that do not interest Clover. However, their conversation eventually turns to the subject of death, as Sebastian opens up about his fear of death, his childhood anxieties, and how he started attending death cafés to cope with his fear. Sebastian’s candid sharing of his fears brings them closer, and they decide to listen to a podcast about the regrets of the dying. This dialogue helps ease the tension between them, providing a moment of connection.

Clover and Sebastian listen to an NPR podcast about people who have had near-death experiences and the regrets they face. Most regrets revolve around working less, loving more, taking risks, and following passions. Sebastian asks Clover about the strangest regret she has heard, and she mentions an anecdote about a woman regretting not buying expensive dish soap. Their conversation shifts to regrets about dying alone, which makes Sebastian uncomfortable. The mood between them changes, and Clover describes the beauty and serenity that sometimes accompanies the moments just before death. Triggered by the discussion, Sebastian expresses his doubts about Clover’s social life and attitude toward living, suggesting that she might have regrets about not opening up to others. This leads to a heated argument, with Sebastian accusing Clover of being impossible to get close to. He also claims that Clover’s profession as a death doula serves as an escape from life. Feeling trapped, Clover demands that Sebastian pull over, decides to leave the car, and says she will find her way back to New York. The chapter ends with her slamming the car door and walking away.

In a flashback, Clover is traveling in Cambodia, studying the country’s Buddhist traditions of death. She is on a crowded bus, returning from her two-month stay. She feels nauseated, contemplating the unpleasant journey ahead. Clover had planned to fly back to New York in a few days and renew her custom of Sunday breakfasts with her grandfather. She was eager to share her observations from her trip with him. She recalls their last phone conversation a few days prior when she had called from her hostel, and her grandfather was understanding about her infrequent calls. They discussed her studies in Cambodia, focusing on the Buddhist approach to death and the role of monks in helping souls transition to the next life.

At a brief stop, Clover checks her emails, finding several messages from Charles Nelson, a colleague of her grandfather’s. The emails reveal the shocking news that Grandpa had passed away due to a stroke. Distraught, she contacts Charles, who confirms that her grandfather died alone at his desk. This revelation leaves Clover in a state of shock and sadness, as she reflects on her grief and memories of her grandfather.

Clover, who regrets abandoning her road trip with Sebastian, finds herself stranded at a remote gas station. She misses talking to her late grandfather, whose comforting voice had often guided her through moments of panic. Following her grandfather’s advice, she takes a deep breath, and instead of focusing on her worries, she considers the next right step forward. She enters the gas station’s diner and orders grilled cheese. Her phone vibrates with a message from Sylvie, which she hesitates to answer. She grapples with loneliness and the feeling that her road trip with Sebastian has left her feeling isolated. In a moment of introspection, she realizes she must continue the journey, primarily for Claudia’s sake. She calls Sebastian to apologize for her reaction earlier, and he reveals that he is waiting outside to pick her up.

Clover and Sebastian arrive at the location they believed to be Hugo Beaufort’s house. However, they only find a driveway leading to a lake. They consider driving closer to the water, but Sebastian insists they would have seen a house by now. Feeling disheartened and foolish, Clover apologizes to Sebastian for dragging him along on a seemingly pointless quest. Sebastian suggests that they explore the lake area, and they head down a slope toward the water. As they approach a boat, a man named Hugo Beaufort greets them. He is the grandson of Claudia’s lover. He mentions that his grandfather had passed away a couple of months prior. They explain their mission related to Claudia, and Hugo is surprised, but welcomes their conversation. Hugo shares that his grandfather moved to the United States because of a woman he fell in love with in France—Claudia. Excited by the connection, they agree to chat further over a meal, and Hugo invites them to a nearby pub. They introduce themselves, and Hugo suggests they follow him to the pub in their car.

Clover, Sebastian, and Hugo have dinner at the Curious Whaler, a pub where Hugo’s grandfather used to eat. Hugo greets the regulars warmly, and the group sits down to chat over drinks. Hugo shares that his grandfather moved to the United States because of Claudia but never told her. Clover and Sebastian explain that they want to find Hugo’s grandfather to provide Claudia with a resolution before her death. They discuss their grief over their loved ones and the challenges of dealing with loss. Hugo is understanding, offering a metaphor about carrying grief throughout life. The conversation shifts to Clover’s profession as a death doula, and Hugo admires the work. Despite Hugo’s supportive words, Clover begins to reflect on her own emotional detachment and regrets.

Clover, Sebastian, and Hugo leave the restaurant and find themselves caught in a fierce rainstorm. Sebastian steps aside to take a call from his sister. Clover and Hugo discuss the dinner, the pub, and Hugo’s grandfather’s connection to the place. They talk about their shared interests in nature and dogs. Hugo expresses his wish to have reunited Claudia and his grandfather. When Clover begins to open up about her own regrets, Sebastian interrupts. He is irritated, and they head back to their motel.

Clover reflects on her recent trip to Maine with Sebastian and her feelings about not telling Claudia about the trip. She recalls her argument with Sebastian and the ensuing silence in their relationship. Back home, Clover isolates herself once more, watching romantic movies and feeling lonely. She decides to dedicate her time to Claudia, who is in the last days of her life. She considers her hypocrisy in helping others with their regrets while not addressing her own, and she decides to take a small step toward changing this by signing up for a Nepali language course to honor one of her clients’ regrets. The chapter ends with Clover thinking about addressing her own regrets.