The One and Only Family

“I’m the resident silverback here at Wildworld Zoological Park and Sanctuary. (Around here, we just call it ‘the park.’)

My address is Sunniest Spot, Outdoor Habitat, Gorilla World.”

Ivan introduces his current living situation, a reminder for readers familiar with the series and critical information for those who have never read about Ivan’s adventures before. The above excerpt exemplifies how much being among humans has influenced Ivan’s way of thinking. The way he gives his location at the zoo is similar to how humans might give their home address. Ivan resides at a sunny spot, revealing his laidback lifestyle and nature. The use of words like “habitat” and “world” shows how the zoo has taken care to render the enclosure as authentic to the wild as possible. However, Ivan’s understanding of his surroundings reveals that the enclosure is not the same thing at all.

“The Exit 8 Big Top Mall and Video Arcade, it was called. Conveniently located off I-95, with shows at two, four, and seven, 365 days of the year.”

Ivan often refers to his past at the arcade zoo. Here, he reveals how terrible the experience was, even though he doesn’t describe his situation. The convenience and availability of entertainment for human visitors meant that Ivan was there for the benefit of others and that little consideration was given to his well-being beyond what he could do for the arcade owner. These lines illustrate how trauma becomes an engrained part of a person/animal. It has been years since Ivan was at the arcade zoo, but he can still recall these exact details because they ruled his existence for so long.

“‘Just you wait.’ Bob pointed a paw at my drawing, which might or might not have wanted to become a banana. ‘You think you’ll have time for art? For jawing with your pals? No sirree Bob. You’re a creature of habit, Ivan. You like your days just so.’

I shook my head. ‘Are you saying I’m boring?’

‘Yes,’ Bob replied. ‘But, you know…in a good way.’”

This conversation between Bob and Ivan shows how the two share a close bond. Bob and Ivan have known each other since Ivan’s time at the arcade zoo. Bob uses his extensive knowledge of Ivan to point out how Ivan’s desired lifestyle is very different from the life he’ll know once he becomes a parent. Bob is unafraid to admit that Ivan is boring and that he still cares about Ivan in spite of this. Their candor characterizes their friendship. This passage also introduces Ivan’s love of art. Applegate anthropomorphizes Ivan by giving him human qualities and interests. Later, the book reveals that art is the vehicle that let Ivan discover himself even while he lived in terrible conditions. The book suggests that art has transformative power.

“Maya is such a friend. She has watched over me since the day I arrived at the park. She understands my needs. How I like to wear hats (and sometimes eat them). How I like to hide in cardboard boxes (and sometimes eat them). How I like to make art. (I do not eat my art. Although I do sometimes lick my paintbrushes.)”

These lines introduce Ivan’s relationship with Maya. The relationship between human and gorilla is layered and nuanced. Though Maya clearly cares for Ivan and wants to give him a good quality of life, she still stands between Ivan and a free life in the wild. However, Maya’s kindness keeps Ivan from holding this against her, and he appreciates all the little things she does for him. The mention of hats, boxes, and art shows Ivan’s personality. Though Ivan has humanlike qualities, Applegate makes it clear that he is not human: Humans don’t eat objects or lick paint brushes.

“‘It’s supposed to be a baby gorilla, I think.’

‘If that’s a gorilla, then I’m a kangaroo.’

‘You’re much lovelier than any marsupial, dear,’ I said.

‘So true. So very true.’ Kinyani scratched her behind on a tree trunk.”

This exchange introduces Kinyani and shows the relationship between her and Ivan. Kinyani is pregnant, though neither she nor Ivan is aware of it at this point. Their reaction to the demon dolls is an example of dramatic irony, where the reader is aware of something that the characters are not. The reader knows that the demon dolls represent gorilla babies, but Ivan and Kinyani are clueless. This passage illuminates Kinyani’s confidence. It also introduces humor when she rubs her behind, showing how different creatures have different standards of beauty.

“Me-balls are rolled-up pieces of…well, you know. Sometimes we toss them at humans when we’re bored. (Never once, in all my years, has a human thrown one of their own me-balls back. I can only assume they lack the skill to make them.)”

Kinyani has just tossed the stuffed baby gorillas in a pile of her own excrement. The quote reminds the reader that Ivan and Kinyani are gorillas, even if they do have some human tendencies. Ivan’s sidenote about how humans don’t throw their excrement back shows the difference between species. Ivan doesn’t understand human behavior. However, like humans, he tries to rationalize, using his understanding of the world to inform his conclusions.

“But in the wild, there would be aunts and grandmothers and other females to explain how this whole parenting thing works.

They would know what to give Kinyani to make her tummy feel better. They would soothe her worries. They would understand exactly what to do and when, because they’d been through it themselves.”

Kinyani has been pregnant for some time. The symptoms of pregnancy are affecting her daily life and, by extension, Ivan’s, as Ivan is at the mercy of her mood swings and discomfort. Ivan’s thoughts about how pregnancy would go in the wild represents his ongoing struggle to accept that he will never live in the wild again. He is frustrated because he knows that the wild would offer assistance that the humans can’t give. The humans have power over Ivan’s situation and take away the benefits that Ivan and Kinyani would receive from living among their own kind.

“I smiled. It felt good, seeing what I’d made all by myself. It wasn’t just squiggles and dots. I’d created something out of nothing.”

Preceding these lines, Ivan details the first time he drew a picture at the arcade zoo. Like all other nights he’d spent there, Ivan was cramped in his cage and hungry. The art made him realize that there were things in his control, though it didn’t seem like it. This gave him hope for the future, which kept him going through the tough times ahead. The tone of this quotation calls to Universality in Life Experiences. Like humans when they make something, Ivan feels proud of his accomplishment and amazed by what he can do.

“‘We’ll be honest, Ivan. What choice do we have?’

I toss some hay into the air and watch it flutter to the ground. ‘You know what they say: What you don’t know can’t hurt you.’

‘I’m pretty sure that’s not a good long-term strategy. If you’re not honest with little ones, how can they trust you?’”

Ivan and Kinyani disagree about parenting. Though Ivan feels mostly content with his life now, he is still bothered by his past. With the twins coming, his grief over losing his family and the wild is heightened. Ivan feels ashamed of his past, even though the things that happened to him weren’t his fault. He doesn’t want to share his past with his children because he fears seeing the same type of shame from them. Kinyani has dealt with her past differently. She understands that the past can’t be changed and wants to be honest with her children. She wants them to trust her and feels like there is no point in lying.

“I put a hand against the wire door, and Maya puts her hand on the other side. Hers could fit into mine like a baby’s.

For a moment that seems to last forever, we sit there in silence, the two of us, waiting and hoping and listening to the wind’s lonely refrain.”

On the night when the twins are born, Ivan is not allowed to be in the delivery room. Instead, he watches over his family through glass. This moment between Ivan and Maya illustrates Universality in Life Experiences. Though Ivan and Maya are two different species, both hope and worry for the future. The tiny size of Maya’s hand compared to Ivan’s reminds the reader how big Ivan is and reflects how largeness does not automatically equate with a threat. Ivan is big but gentle, illustrating his laidback nature.

“I let out a noise. I don’t know quite what it is or what it means, but it feels like it’s coming from somewhere deep inside of me.

Protect, it says. Protect.”

Ivan sees his children for the first time. In wanting to protect them, he truly becomes a parent. Up until now, Ivan believed that he knew what to expect. When he sees the babies, Ivan is still himself, but he is also the protector of tiny creatures who rely on him for everything. The noise he makes comes with the unlocking of his instincts to provide safety and shelter, instincts he uses throughout the rest of the book.

“I keep thinking of Mack holding me in his arms like a human baby.

For a while, that’s what everyone pretended I was.

I wore Pooh pajamas. I learned to use the TV remote and open the refrigerator. I went to McDonald’s and to baseball games.

I was cute and cuddly. I was the punch line to a joke I didn’t understand.”

Ivan describes another part of his past. Between being in the wild and living at the arcade zoo, Ivan lived in a human home, where he was trained to act like a human child so that his owner could show him off. Ivan is most ashamed of this part of his past; he feels that it is when he was least like the gorilla he should be. These lines highlight The Unfairness of Power Dynamics and the cruelty that animals experience at human hands. Ivan’s owner gave no consideration to Ivan’s true nature or to how Ivan felt about being forced to act like a human. Instead, Ivan was ripped from the life he knew and forced to live as he was never intended to.

“Light spills onto the trees that are not quite trees. Onto the pond that was built by humans. Onto the toys you would never find in a jungle.

I hear human laughter. Clapping. Cooing.

I don’t hear the words, but when I rouse myself and look through the window, I understand.”

Ivan has spent many days and nights watching Kinyani and the twins through glass while humans care for his children. Ivan’s observation of the manmade nature of his home shows his discontent with the zoo, even though the humans have been good to him. Ivan highlights all the ways that his habitat is unlike the wild and vents his frustration at feeling like he has been deprived of his job—namely, to protect his family. When Ivan looks through the window at the sounds of a celebration, he sees Kinyani handling the twins. In this moment, Ivan starts to feel like he’s gotten some control back. Ivan understands emotions the same way humans do, as he recognizes the noises as celebration.

“The twins are more active now. They are all fur and bone, skinny and astonishingly small. They coo and grunt and burp, and with every noise they make, Kinyani is on the alert.

‘I think I’m getting the hang of this mom thing,’ she says.

‘You’re amazing,’ I tell her. ‘Look at how happy they both look!’

‘Took me a while to figure things out,’ Kinyani says. ‘But here we are.’”

Ivan and Kinyani have finally been reunited after Kinyani’s time among the humans. Their time apart and the fact that humans taught Kinyani to care for the twins suggests that humans have a negative effect on animals. In the wild, Kinyani would have figured out how to parent by instinct and with help from her own kind. This moment also shows how new experiences are confusing to all species. Much like human parents, Kinyani isn’t sure what to do at first and is figuring things out as she goes. The family is happy and healthy. This foreshadows how Ivan and Kinyani will continue to raise the twins and be a troop, if a small one, like they would in the wild.

“‘On the other hand, the news lady said you folks are endangered. Weird, when you think about it. I mean, you guys are so big and…you know, intimidating.’

Not when a poacher’s gun is involved.”

Bob’s dialogue, coupled with Ivan’s reaction, illustrates The Unfairness of Power Dynamics between animals and humans. Ivan is a large, strong creature who should be able to handle the threats that come at him in the wild. However, animals were never built to fight human weapons, and guns give poachers an unfair advantage. As big and intimidating as gorillas are, they are no match for a bullet, hence their endangered status. Bob’s take on this shows an animal perspective. To a small dog like Bob, Ivan seems like he should be able to take care of any threats.

“For the most part, we’re all getting along, I’m happy to say, and I’ve adapted well to my role as silverback.

There are hiccups, to be sure. The blackbacks can get too rambunctious. And I referee occasional squabbles over ripe fruit or sunny rocks.”

The gorillas who were moved to a different location following a tornado have returned to the zoo. Ivan’s troop has grown to include these individuals, and he has been called upon to have more responsibility as the silverback leader. Ivan later compares his increased responsibility to how much more work it is to be a parent. The hiccups he describes reveal what Ivan’s life would have been like in the wild, as well as how his life is not like the wild at all. The situations he deals with are typical of a troop, but in the wild, he would also have bigger threats to face from outside sources. In the zoo, his role as a silverback is greatly reduced from what it would be under normal circumstances.

“Of course, that’s far too simple. When you have twins, it’s easy to lump them into categories. X is one way, so Y is the opposite.

But of course, nothing is that clear-cut. Rarely, if ever, are things black and white. More often they’re shades of gray.”

Prior to this, Ivan described Tuma as the moon and Raji as the sun. Here, Ivan suggests that twins (or any children) cannot be easily labeled. He recognizes that his observations are too generalized, showing the care with which he approaches parenting. He understands that his children are complex individuals.

“‘Do you think that’s where they live, Daddy?’ Raji asks. ‘In Africa, where you lived when you were little bitty?’

I sometimes tell the twins stories about my brief time there. I share what I can. But not everything.

Not even close to everything.”

Ivan reveals that he has mentioned his past while keeping many of the details to himself; he still feels ashamed of his past and how he was taken from his home. These lines show how he protects his family. He doesn’t want the twins to fear the dangers that he faced; he doesn’t mention them because he feels that there is no reason to do so. Raji’s questions show how small things can trigger trauma responses. Raji is excited and curious (positive emotions), but her question strikes Ivan as troubling and problematic to answer (negative emotions).

“My old friend Stella recalled every single moment of her life with perfect clarity. She often urged me to shed more light on my own hazy memories.

I’ve always found that easier said than done.”

These lines call to previous installments in the series and the characters who have helped Ivan along on his journey. Stella was an elephant at the arcade zoo who has since passed away. Stella recalling everything about her life is a humorous nod to the adage of how an elephant never forgets. Her advice is also meant to warn Ivan that suppressing memories does more harm than good. Stella’s advice ends up being sound. Once Ivan is forced to relive his past through the documentary, he is able to deal with what happened. As Ivan discovers, reliving his past is not easy, but it is necessary if he wants to move forward.

“‘But it’s my job to protect them from the world,’ I said.

‘It’s our job to prepare them for the world,’ Kinyani responded, arms crossed over her chest.

I crossed my arms over my chest, too. ‘Well,’ I said, ‘at the end of the day, I’ll decide what they can know and when. It’s my duty as silverback.’”

This disagreement between Ivan and Kinyani echoes their similar discussion in Chapter 37. Ivan and Kinyani argue about what to tell the twins and how to present information in the best way. The first two lines reflect Ivan’s and Kinyani’s different approaches to parenting. As a leader and protector, Ivan’s first instinct is to keep the twins safe, and he uses this as a reason not to tell them about the past. By contrast, Kinyani realizes that the twins will have to grow up and make their own choices; she wants to give them as much information as possible so that they can choose to the best of their abilities. Ivan also uses his leadership status to cover up his discomfort with sharing his past.

“‘You’ve got a lot of help here. Vets. Food delivered to your door. All the amenities.’

I feel my body tensing. ‘And you’re saying that’s a good thing?’

‘No, Ivan.’ Bob has a wistful, faraway look in his eyes. ‘I’m not saying that at all. I’m just saying it is what it is. And it’s not going to change.’”

Prior to this conversation between Ivan and Bob, Ivan has expressed his desire not to tell the twins about his past and his frustration about how his children will never know what it’s like to be truly free. Bob’s take on Ivan’s situation calls to the difference between freedom and convenience. Ivan doesn’t have to work or fight for his existence at the zoo, but he also isn’t free to exist as he was meant to. Wildlife areas have shrunk as greed and the drive to find resources have consumed the human population. As a result, animals like Ivan have been displaced. There is nowhere for Ivan to go back to, and he and his descendants will be in human care for the foreseeable future.

“‘Well, good night, Adumu,’ I say, and I notice him flinch ever so slightly when I say his name. ‘Something wrong?’ I ask.

‘I dunno.’ He picks up a rock and stares at it, as if he’ll find the answer there. ‘Just never liked the name. It’s not mine, not really.’”

Adumu is the younger gorilla male who threatens the human child during the documentary; this exchange between him and Ivan foreshadows that moment. Like Ivan, Adumu was once free but lost his freedom and family to human poachers. While Ivan is older and has mostly come to terms with human involvement in his life, Adumu is younger and still angry. He symbolizes Ivan’s past. Adumu’s dislike of his name reflects how he resents his captivity. He doesn’t recall the name that his gorilla family gave him, but he knows that it was not Adumu. The human-given name only serves to remind Adumu of everything he’s lost, making it a constant trigger for his trauma.

“What happened to me wasn’t my fault.

It was the fault of cruel humans.

It was, I think suddenly, my father’s fault, too.”

Ivan has run away from the documentary after it started showing how he was forced to act like a human child. The documentary triggers Ivan’s trauma, which is compounded by the fact that his troop and children are now privy to things he would have rather kept private. He knows the truth—that cruel humans are responsible for what happened and that he should not blame himself. At the same time, he feels ashamed. Ivan lashes out due to the pain. He blames his father for not protecting him from the poachers and the events that followed, even though Ivan knows that there was nothing his father could have done.