Three Little Words

Ashley has been in “that hateful house for only six weeks” (82), and it is already having a profound effect on her. She has begun wetting the bed, and Mrs. Moss insists that they change the sheets only once a month and she can “sleep in that bed as punishment” (83). When she continues to wet the bed, Mrs. Moss makes her put on a baby’s diaper and go and tell the other children, “‘I’m a disgusting pig and p-p-pissed myself’” (83).

The children have to bath every night, sharing the same water, even if the younger children have defecated in it first. Luke regularly refuses, and Mrs. Moss dunks him under, and Ashley can often hear him “screaming in terror” (85). Ashley is glad when school starts because she is out of the house more often and gets more food. The children are assigned to write about a winter holiday with their family, and Ashley cries because she has no such family memories. The teacher says she can write about “an imaginary snowman” (87) instead, and Ashley wins the prize for the best story.

Ashley’s mother finally makes it to a meeting, and Mr. Ferris acknowledges that she has nearly completed all the tasks required to prove she is a competent mother. However, he cuts the meeting short, despite Ashley’s mother having driven “‘more than eight hours to get here’” (89). Mrs. Moss makes Ashley “teach the girls all the verses to ‘You Are My Sunshine’” (91). When they are made to sing it in front of visitors, the “words [stick] like a chicken bone in my throat. This [is] my song, our song” (92). She “chew[s] a hangnail to suppress my fury” (92).

Mrs. Moss’s abuse continues. When one of the children tears open the wrapping on a Christmas present, she threatens to burn them all if no one owns up, so Ashley takes the blame and receives fewer presents. After Luke soils himself at school, Ashley is called to the guidance counsellor, who reports that “‘[h]e said he’s afraid he’ll have to drink hot sauce again’” (94). Ashley confirms that this is true. A woman interviews the children at school, and they all reluctantly report some of the abuse. Two weeks later, Mr. Ferris takes Ashley out of the trailer to be rehomed. However, she has to leave her school friends, her dolls, and most importantly, Luke behind.

As they drive away from the Mosses’, Mr. Ferris demands of Ashley, “‘[W]hy don’t you ever tell the truth, young lady?’” and insists that “‘[t]he Mosses run one of our finest foster homes, and you were trying to ruin it for everyone’” (99). Ashley is outraged but believes “Mrs. Moss might have gotten away with it this time, but not forever” (99).

Once Ashley is at the Lake Magdalene Children’s Shelter, she reports the Mosses’ abuse “to anyone who [will] listen, and there [are] plenty of sympathetic ears” (102), including those of Luke’s new foster family and a police officer who comes to the shelter to hear her account of her time there.

Ashley’s mother visits the children and tells Luke that she has signed away her rights to him so he “belong[s] to Dusty, not me” (106). This will prove to be “the last time my then five-year-old brother ever saw our mother” (106). However, Ashley still believes that she will “always come back for me” (106).

Ashley moves in with Luke’s new foster family, the Merritts. She “relishe[s] the serene environment” (111) but is insecure about the stability of the placement, acting out because she believes it will “be easier if they [throw] me out before I really [want] to stay. Why had I allowed myself to relax?” (114). She observes that her “nails [have] even grown out” and “deliberately [bites] them off one by one” (114).

Ashley and Luke get a Guardian ad Litem named Mary Miller to “represent your best interests in court” (115). She is the first person to ask, “‘What can I do for you?’” (115). Initially, Ashley thinks that Mary is “just a well-mannered woman who check[s] on our progress,” but years later she will realize “everything she had accomplished on Luke’s and my behalf” (118).

Ashley’s mother gives her a music box. Ashley “open[s] the lid expecting to hear ‘You Are My Sunshine,’” but her mother tells her that “‘they didn’t have it’” (117). Mary is suspicious of Ashley’s mother, who lies about her sobriety and job stability, and the guardian eventually asks lawyers “to begin termination proceedings for Dusty Grover’s rights to Luke and my mother’s rights to me” (118-119). Eventually, in a voice that is “both tender and firm,” she tells Ashley that she will never live with her mother because “‘she can’t take care of you’” (126).

Ashley is moved once again, this time to the Chavez house. She finds the home friendly and welcoming but still believes that “the day [will] come when their hospitality [will] end suddenly” (125). She also feels like “an outsider by race, religion, culture—and blood” (129). One day, Mrs. Chavez tells Ashley that Mrs. Moss has invited her to stay for the night. Ashley protests, but Mrs. Chavez says Mrs. Moss “sounds very nice” (130), and Mr. Ferris drops Ashley off that weekend.

Mrs. Moss asks Ashley, “‘Remember all those nasty things you said about us? They weren’t true, right?’” (132). Ashley shakes her head, refusing to “give her the satisfaction of falsely apologizing aloud” (132). Mrs. Moss has now adopted Mandy, a girl who was being fostered at the Mosses at the same time as Ashley, and pinches the girl, telling her, “‘Remember, Mandy, you’re mine now, and I can beat the shit out of you anytime I want’” (133).

Ashley finds a condom in her bag and opens it before deciding that she should be honest and tell Mrs. Moss. Mrs. Moss is furious and shows it to Mr. Ferris the next day, claiming that Ashley “‘brought it here on purpose’” and “‘showed everyone how it’s used—even the little ones!’” (135). She also tells Mr. Ferris that Ashley said, “‘I’m sorry I caused you so much trouble by telling those lies about you’” (135). Later, Mr. Ferris tells Ashley, “‘Nobody likes a liar’” (135).

When Mary insists that Ashley’s mother complete a final drug test, she refuses and “sign[s] a paper for the termination of her parental rights to me instead” (137). Her parental rights are terminated so that that Ashley will “never see her” again, making it official that “I [am] an orphan” (137).